


Don't Jump

by MadHattersPet



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alex is done with everyone's shit, M/M, Song fic, Yassen has feels, off screen attempted rape, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:25:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadHattersPet/pseuds/MadHattersPet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yassen finds himself facing a broken Alex on a rooftop</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_On top of the roof_   
_The air is so cold and so calm_   
_I say your name in silence_   
_You don't wanna hear it right now_

Yassen stared at the sight before him. Alex Rider, last of a legacy was standing on the edge of a roof top, staring fixedly down at the busy street several floors below. "Alex" the name broke from Yassen, almost involuntarily. Alex didn't even acknowledge him.

_The eyes of the city_   
_Are counting the tears falling down_   
_Each one a promise_   
_Of everything you never found_

Yassen stepped forward, unable to understand. At the sound of his boots crunching in the snow, Alex turned to look at him. Yassen's eyes, usually stoic, widened; he remembered Alex the boy who had been so full of life and drive. The eyes looking at him now were dead. Alex looked old, to old. Something had hurt him, broken that spirit that had drawn Yassen from the first.

_I scream into the night for you_   
_Don't make it true_   
_Don't jump_   
_The lights will not guide you through_   
_They're deceiving you_   
_Don't jump_   
_Don't let memories go_   
_Of me and you_   
_The world is down there out of view_   
_Please don't jump_

"Look who's here. You don't even have to try to kill me this time." Alex's voice was dry, sarcastic.

"Alex don't do this." Yassen commanded, falling back on the only thing he knew. Alex's smile became deranged.

"Are you going to stop me Yassen? You don't kill children, but adults are no problem. I'm 18 today, suddenly I become okay to kill. Isn't that right?" Alex cocked his head studying the assassin.

_You open your eyes_   
_But you can't remember what for_   
_The snow falls quietly_   
_You just can't feel it no more_

Yassen wondered if Alex could even see him. The boy's eyes were completely dead. Alex the person had already given up, this was just the body going through the motions of living, and even that was failing. Somewhere in Yassen's chest, something ached.

  
_Somewhere out there_   
_You lost yourself in your pain_   
_You dream of the end_   
_To start all over again_

Yassen could remember seeing other people lose themselves in what they had become. Hell most had broken after going through far less than the boy, no man, in front of him. "What happened Alex?" 'What made you lose yourself in this pain? How can I help?'

Alex shook his head, "What do you care?" He started laughing, a truly horrible sound which shook the man's frail body. "I'm 18 now, so shoot me. Take out that nice gun I know you have somewhere and just shoot me."

Yassen shook his head. "You don't want that."

_I scream into the night for you_   
_Don't make it true_   
_Don't jump_   
_The lights will not guide you through_   
_They're deceiving you_

"How do you know what I want?" Alex screamed at him, eyes widening. "You, MI6, no one knows, because no one thought to ask, or care. So shoot me! Go on shoot me dammit!"

"I told you to get out of this world when we first me." Yassen countered smoothly.

There was that laugh again. "Yes, great idea, like I hadn't already thought or that. MI 6 wouldn't let me, and unlike you I can't just ignore the laws whenever it suits me." Alex turned back to the view

"Go. If you won't shoot me then just go. I'm not a child; I don't need someone watching me."

_Don't jump_   
_Don't let memories go_   
_Of me and you_   
_The world is down there out of view_   
_Please don't jump_   
_Don't jump_

"Don't jump Alex." Yassen was as surprised as Alex looked at the pleading in his voice.

"Why? Why care if I jump or not. I'm not my father, I'm not Ian, I'm never going to be like them!"

Yassen stepped forward again, and this time, Alex turned to face him fully. "I'm aware that you are not John. John was strong in a way you have never been. You are not Ian; Ian accepted his job and loved it, as you do not." There were tears in the younger man's eyes. Anger and pain brought up, with only Yassen Gregorovich, assassin extraordinaire to see.

"Yes John was so strong; Ian was so good at his job." Alex's voice was bitter

"But you have something John never had, you have a strength Ian could only wish for."

Alex sneered, "What my 'pathetic' morals?"

"You've been in this business for years, yet by the time most have either burned out or become hardened, you still possess the ability to cry."

"Isn't this the very definition of burn out?"

_I don't know how long_   
_I can hold you so strong_   
_I don't know how long_

"What happened Alex?" Yassen asked again. Alex wouldn't meet his eyes for the first time. "It's only burnout if you take that step." Yassen stepped forward holding out his hand.

_Just take my hand_   
_Give it a chance_   
_Don't jump_

"Please don't jump."

Suddenly Alex launched himself into Yassen, knocking both of them back into the snow. Alex was sobbing into the assassin chest. He sounded like a dying animal, and Yassen just wrapped the teenager in his arms, holding as tight as he dared.

_I scream into the night for you_   
_Don't make it true_   
_Don't jump_   
_The lights will not guide you through_   
_They're deceiving you_   
_Don't jump_

"I was caught in Moscow two weeks ago. They chained me to a wall, who the fuck still uses chains anyway? But the guard Frank he-" Alex broke off suddenly, and Yassen felt the cold for the first time in years. Gently he took Alex's face in his hands and tilted it up.

"What did he do to you?"

"He didn't – I mean, I stopped him before-" Alex looked away, but Yassen was having none of that. "I can still feel his hands on me, they were hot, and it was so cold in that room." Alex was bordering on hysterical. "I still have the marks. It's stupid I've been hurt before-"

_Don't let memories go_   
_Of me and you_

Alex was cut off by the Russians lips softly pressing against his

_The world is down there out of view_

Yassen pulled back studying the shocked, tear streaked face. "Tell me you killed the bastard." He could hear the rough tone to his own voice. Alex nodded and Yassen kissed him again, still soft.

_Please don't jump_   
_Don't jump_

Alex slowly wrapped his arms around Yassen, leaning into the kiss. "Alex" Yassen breathed pulling back from the younger man. "Won't you get into trouble with Scorpia for this?" Alex asked, even though he didn't really know what this was.

Yassen stopped to think a moment. Trying to ignore the heady feeling of possessiveness that touched him, he considered. He wanted to pick Alex up, and take him back to Yassen's flat. That would be career, if not very real, suicide. One look at the spy still sitting on him, made up Yassen's mind.

And if all that can't hold you back  
I'll jump for you

"You're more important." And Yassen Gregorovich, assassin for hire, allowed his heart to rule his head, and called a cab for himself and Alex Rider, MI6 agent.


	2. Chapter 2

The cab ride was silent. Alex was curled up against the left side of the wall, eyes still dead. He wasn't sure what was going on.

After he'd come back from Moscow, and the debacle of a mission, he'd tried, really tried to go back to living. But the moment the clock hit midnight and he was eighteen, nothing really seemed to matter anymore. Alex couldn't remember going to the roof, didn't know how long he'd spent staring down at the street below. And he had no fucking idea how Yassen Gregorovich came to be there. Or how he'd ended up in a cab with said assassin. Or kissing him for that matter.

The teenager resisted the urge to touch his lips. He could still remember the feel of Frank trying to rape him. There had been no tender kisses then. A shudder worked its way through him as he remembered the frantically pawing hands. Before Alex could lose himself entirely, a hand brushed some hair out of his face.

Yassen worked to hold back a frown when Alex jumped under his gentle touch. "Its going to be fine." He whispered, "You're safe."

"For now."

The assassin didn't try to refute those words, and didn't spout off the usual meaningless platitudes, he understood what Alex meant. And he didn't care.

"Tonight is all that matters."

Alex tensed again, but before any more could be said the cab pulled up at the curb. Yassen paid the cabbie and led Alex through a tangle of streets before unlocking a little house jammed in the middle of a block.

Inside was just like any other old home, cozy and comfy, but without any of the little knickknacks that would come to live in a house inhabited by a normal family. This was a safe house, a place to crash in between jobs.

"Why were you in London?"

Yassen stilled for a moment at the question, before resuming hanging up his and Alex's coats, "It's your eighteenth birthday."

"You were paying me a birthday visit?"

"Yes."

Alex just nodded. Part of Yassen waited for the snappy comeback the younger Alex would have had, but he knew wasn't coming, Alex was just too broken for that to happen right now.

The assassin led the way into the kitchen, setting a kettle on and taking out two mugs. Alex sat listlessly at the kitchen table.

"Does MI 6 know what happened in Moscow?"

Alex shrugged, "They didn't ask, they never do."

"You weren't debriefed?"

Another humorless laugh, "What passes for debriefing where I'm concerned, just making sure I did the mission and I'm not injured."

"Have they ever given you a psychiatrist?"

"Why would they?"

Yassen set the cups he was holding down very deliberately, "Because Alex, every agent gets a proper debriefing and they're all required to see a psychiatrist and be cleared for duty."

Alex looked up at the restrained anger in the other man's voice, "Apparently I'm not a proper agent."

"Obviously blackmail and child labor laws have been ignored, but they're not only risking your health by not giving you proper care, they're putting every mission on which they use you at risk." Yassen studied the young man sitting at his table, "That they think they can get away with it is a testament to your skill Alex."

"One I'd just as well do without."

"Indeed."

After pouring the tea Yassen sat down across from the other man.

They sat in silence, drinking their tea, thinking about what had happened. For his part Yassen was very angry at MI 6, treating any agent that carelessly was horrific, but this was Alex Rider, who hadn't been much more than a boy when he'd first begun. Yassen lived in a cruel world and was a cruel man, but there were some things that even he wouldn't stand for.

Alex wrapped his hands more tightly around the warm mug. He'd gone to the rooftop to kill himself and ended up kissing the world's best assassin. This was definitely not how he saw the night going, yet here he was, sitting in the kitchen of a safe house drinking tea with Yassen Gregorovich. Alex leaned back a bit, he was just so tired.

"What happens now?"

"You need some rest," Yassen replied.

"That wasn't what I was talking about," There was a new edge to Alex's voice, leaving no doubt that he was referring to the kiss and Yassen's words on the rooftop.

The assassin sighed, "I meant it. You're more important."

"Because of my father?"

"Because of you."

Blue eyes met brown over the table and Yassen continued, "Yes John is part of it, but I'm not tanking my career for his son. I'm doing it for Alex."

Alex nodded, "Right so—"

"Sleep," Yassen interrupted, "We can have all of the hard conversations later, we both need rest."

Alex really wanted to just get all of the hard conversations out of the way now. The first one he wanted dealt with was the inevitable one about the kiss on the rooftop and the way it was going to change their relationship. Instead he stood, bringing his mug to the sink and rinsing it.

Suddenly there was a body behind him, close enough to be felt, but not so close as to cage him. "Alex," the murmur was warm and full of the emotion he'd never dreamed the assassin possessed. "There's no need to rush." Alex nodded, understanding the caution. "Come upstairs."

Yassen showed Alex to the houses only bedroom, wishing he could use it for something far more enjoyable, but after a near rape, somehow it didn't seem right. Not with everything still up in the air.

"I'll leave you then," but Yassen was stopped by a hand on his wrist, drawing him back to Alex. Another hand on his cheek turned his head, and the Alex was up on his tiptoes kissing him.

"Alex," Yassen warned, but the spy shrugged, stepping closer and continuing to kiss the older man. A sigh, and then Yassen was holding Alex again, kissing back, enjoying the feel of the younger body pressed against him. Through sheer force of will Yassen pulled back to murmur, "I don't want to hurt you."

"Then don't leave me alone tonight."

Now, how could anyone resist that?

Alex felt strong arms lift him up, and he wrapped his legs around Yassen waist as the other man took control of the kiss, walking towards the bed.

When the spy was laid on the bed Yassen took the time for one last disclaimer, "Stop me," he whispered.

"Not a chance," there was some fire back in Alex's eyes, and hungry for more of that look Yassen trailed kisses down his neck, lifting the spy's shirt over his head, and stripping the younger man of his jeans and boxers. Alex helped Yassen out of his clothes, and both stopped to admire the other.

Scars were a part of life in their world, little mementos of places and people and death. Yassen traced the bullet scar over Alex's heart with delicate fingers while Alex traced a long mark over his ribs.

It was gentle that night, Yassen was careful to keep it so. He made sure that Alex felt safe and comfortable and desired, thrusting slow and sweet, and cuddling him after it was over. Alex curled into the muscled chest, dropping into a deep sleep for the first time since Moscow, utterly safe.

When they woke up there would be conversations, and decisions, but right now, nothing else mattered but the warm arms around each other.


End file.
